7 things you should not do this valentines

Ok, so a little heads up in a few days time, 14th of February to be precise, is Valentine’s day. Which, if you have been cunning enough to ensure you are single (high five) will mean absolutely nothing to you. Of course, for those of us in a relationship, Valentine’s Day is about LOVE, sharing and giving (apparently). If you are indeed celebrating*  this year, here is a list of 7 mistakes to avoid this Valentine’s day.

 1. Try not to be creepy.

Keeping an element of mystery surrounding your valentine’s gifts and card/s is all well and good. And disguising your handwriting can be a sure fire way to really throw your Valentines off the scent. But remember there is a line… THERE IS ALWAYS A LINE. A  few years ago a girl I used to work with showed me a card she’d received with a soppy message inside made up of individual letters cut from various newspaper headlines. This created a more serial killer vibe than serial romancer and is a perfect example of crossing the line.

2. DONT gift a cuddly toy (unless you are 11)

The whole point of Valentine’s is to show how much you care, which unfortunately should involve a small degree of effort on your behalf. Cuddly toys are the domain of the desperate. Next time you find yourself in Clinton’s browsing an array of polyester animals clutching love hearts ask yourself this. How would you feel if everything goes surprisingly well and the object of your affection invites you back to their place for a ‘coffee’, only to reveal a boudoir festooned with more soft toys than a build a bear workshop!

3. DONT gift household appliances.

It may come as a shock but ‘practical gifts’ such as Irons, Hoovers, Microwaves, Blenders and bathroom scales should not be considered when gifting on Valentine’s. The key is romance and although those oven gloves you have been eyeing bearing the legend ‘Hot Stuff’ may seem like the perfect choice, i’d advise you to keep looking.

As we are on the subject of valentines gifts, NEVER offer anything that resembles a ring box to your partner on Valentine’s Day. The image of Valentine’s Day = Proposal is pretty much hammered into every person from birth. The last thing you want is to have your slightly intoxicated date jumping up and down screaming yes yes yes as you sit there in disbelief intensively regretting buying those earrings from Argos.

4. Don’t buy lingerie unless you are very confident they’ll like it.

I say this because unless you know the exact size (which can change FYI) it can land you in an awkward situation. If you get a piece too big, it could, and in all likelihood will be taken the wrong way—do they look fatter than they realised? And if you get it too small? Well, talk about an uncomfortable situation while your valentine tries to struggle and squeeze their way into it. If you want to spice things up, mention it, and hopefully, they’ll come sauntering into the bedroom wearing something hot that also totally fits—or give you pointers on what to get. Also, edible underwear should be avoided at all costs…

5. Avoid the cinema.

120 minutes sitting in a dark room, not looking or talking to each other isn’t exactly the most romantic situation for a Valentine’s date. And if you do, you’ll inevitably end up spending your hard earned cash watching some cheesy Valentines inspired rom-com with a weak plot and diabolical acting.  

Make an effort and arrange a date that will encourage total attention on each other. Get dressed up, put on a suit and tie and show them how important they are to you.

6. Avoid Valentines meal deals.

This one may come across a little controversial but try to avoid any restaurant offering a ‘Valentine’s Deal’. I did it once and although yes I did save a few pennies, I was stuck with a limited menu, a rose inside some sort of cylindrical plastic vase and a packed room full of other couples who were all competing to show how much more in love they were than I was….. I lost.

7. DONT say I love you (unless you really mean it)

I know that in the heat of the moment we can all say things we regret. I would however, advise you to be very careful when dropping the ‘L’ bomb. Romantic music and flowers mixed with alcohol and soft lighting from Ramsey’s kebab shop can result in spontaneous outbursts. Believe me, what you consider a drunken throwaway comment probably means much, much more to your date.